Is positive children celebrate Halloween?

During these days, the streets are filled with posters with pictures of pumpkins, skeletons, skulls, bloody ghosts, cobwebs ... Halloween is here. Inluso in schools they change their usual image and decorate their classrooms with these elements allowing students to go dressed in costumes and masks, the scariest better. But is it right that children celebrate Halloween? Would you support this "party of death" to clear their fears or, on the contrary, it encourages having nightmares? According Angels Ponce, family therapist, parents who have certain fears that their children come first in contact with the word death to celebrate Halloween, should not worry "precisely because it is a party to have fun and be taken in this way . Children are entertained by disguising costumes and watching others, like scare and laugh at it. " The fact celebrate with his friends also gives them a certain "normality" to be with that terrifying image. However, this expert explains that this party is not the right time to talk to children from death. "It is much better to do it because of any other everyday occurrence such as see a dead insect on the floor, watching a cartoon in which a character dies, after hearing a certain news in the news ... The celebration of All Saints is also a good time because families often go to the cemetery and put flowers and can take the opportunity to explain what it means and how we miss people who are no longer. " Still, some parents, in a display to protect their children from matters that may make them suffer, they ask: what need is there to talk about the subject if they do not ask? The answer is blunt: "Children, like all human beings, do not know when they will surprise death of a loved one. If they have talked to their parents on occasion naturally on death, they have integrated into their lives. If you live completely outside the subject, when the day saying goodbye will be a real shock comes. The consequences can be very negative because it will be unable to take the death and will most likely need professional help to overcome the way they feel, "explains Àngels Ponce. However, at the time when a loved one dies it is normal that adults are facing the "uncomfortable" questions of the smallest of the house because from their curiosity and ignorance do not understand what has happened and feel great sorrow . "In general they mishandled parents in these situations because there is an exception in conversations with children. Death is not an issue in question frequently and naturally, but only sporadically addressed when it happens within the family ... and often done on tiptoe, without treating it in depth. All parents want to spare them suffering at the loss of a loved one, but most of them do not know how, "says this expert in family therapy and bereavement. Have clear ideas and some aspects in communicating these occurrences to the smallest it can be very useful for all family members. Ponce àngels some of these aspects aims to make that more comfortable conversation. It is necessary to transmit and feel peace of mind when you give an explanation usually do so from their own emotional state. Depending on whether that person, so is the way forward information to the child, contagiándole of his emotions. "It is important to be aware of how we find ourselves because that emotion is impregnated in the child, so if what I want is to transmit tranquility I feel and look for a calm moment," says the expert. It should be noted that, with the words, little will also observe the attitude and non-verbal language of the adult, so there must be consistency between what is said, how it is said and how it acts. It is inevitable that these situations cause significant loss painful and sad emotions, you can lose your temper, but you need to find before getting face to face with the boy or girl. Do not be afraid to use the word "death" is customary for this word is always spoken prevent against a minor, but it is necessary to standardize use. Many children already know that there is death, know after having read the stories, seen in movies or on television itself. Most of them know someone who has died a relative, a friend or a beloved pet. It is important that the fear of using this word disappears to thereby facilitate understanding with the child. Be honest and show real emotions "If the child is old enough to understand what happened there to resort to metaphors should only tell the truth," advises Ponce. It is important to confront such situations always telling the truth and not hiding what the adult feels or what happened. Share with children the reality and emotions that accompany the loss of a loved one, it reinforces these emotions and normalizes. We must convey that mourn, be sad is normal or miss them is normal, this way we give permission to express and share with us. "Share with the children what we feel is the best way to educate them emotionally," explains the expert. Adapting the arguments and concepts by age children understand death through their experience and maturity, so it is very important to adapt the speech to the child's age. "We must bear in mind that a child of 6 years, for example, need not know everything about death," says Ponce. In cases where children are young it is advisable to simply respond to questions they make, without giving further explanation that they demand. Talk to him about the deceased person can help the small express their feelings about what has happened and about the person who is not, and can learn more their emotional state. The child may react to the death of many forms, depending on the factors that will influence not only his age, but the way it relates to its environment, the level of understanding, experience or the link itself that bound him to the deceased.

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